Season Five

See main article: You're Gonna Love Tomorrow

Original air date: September 28, 2008

Written by: Marc Cherry

Directed by: Larry Shaw

Plot Synopsis: Porter and Preston are juvenial delinquents, Dylan is engaged, Susan has a new lover, Bree's got a new cookbook out, and there are new neighbors on Wisteria Lane. Edie returns with a new husband. Bree's a guest on a Fairview cooking show. Susan and Mike are seperated.Porter and Preston turn the Scavo's restaurant into an illegal casino for their teen friends.Gabrielle's daughter Juanita unsuccessfully tries to wear a dress that's too small for her. An accidental death plays a role in the season premiere.

Guest starring: Joy Lauren as Danielle Van De Kamp, Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. McCluskey, Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Kevin Rahm as Lee, Tuc Watkins as Bob, Stephen Spinella as Dr. Heller, Hank Stratton as Keith Kavendish, Brent Kinsman as young Preston, Shane Kinsman as young Porter, Thomas Kopache as Raymond, Christopher Shea as Photographer, Marie Caldare as Lila Dash, Madeleine Michelle Dunn as Paige Dash, Kelly Hawthorne as Saleswoman, Julie Wittner as Mother #1, and Tami-Adrian George as Mother #2

See main article: We're So Happy You're So Happy

Original air date: October 5th, 2008

Written by: Alexandra Cunningham

Directed by: David Grossman

Plot Synopsis: Bree's scheduled to do a radio interview about her book, Mrs. Van De Kamp's Old Fashioned Cooking. When the interviewer says something about Mr. Van De Kamp, Bree mentions he's dead, and goes along with the interviewer who suggests the book is her tribute to her dead husband. Carlos is working as a masseur at his and Gabrielle's house. Gabrielle isn't happy about that; she wants him to work out of the country club, and reveals she just spent the last of the drug money they took from Ellie. Gabrielle speaks with a socialite at the country club who misses having Gaby around. Gabrielle claims her kids have taken up her time; the socialite is happy to have her back on the scene.

Guest starring: Richard Burgi as Karl Mayer, Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. McCluskey, Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Jodi Carlisle as Michelle Downing, and Suzanne Friedline as Linda Flanagan

See main article: Kids Ain't Like Everybody Else

Original air date: October 12th, 2008

Written by: Joe Keenan

Directed by: Bethany Rooney

Plot Synopsis: Danielle returns with a husband and her son. Gabrielle and Carlos consider selling their car, but can't decide on a price. When Juanita and M.J. get into a disagreement that ends in a fight between their mothers. Katherine and McCluskey try to get the dish on Dave. Tom starts a garage band with Dave and Orson.

Guest starring: Andrew Leeds as Leo Katz, TBA as Benjamin Katz, Joy Lauren as Danielle Katz, Kathryn Joosten as Mrs. McCluskey, Gale Harold as Jackson

See main article: Back in Business

Original air date: October 19th, 2008

Written by: John Pardee and Joey Murphy

Directed by: Scott Ellis

Plot Synopsis: Bree's new cookbook and entrepreneurial success has the women of Wisteria Lane feeling envious; Lynette's longing for a taste of her breadwinning days as an ad-exec leads her to lend an unsolicited hand to Bree's marketing plan; and MJ's drawing of a family portrait has left Mike feeling like he's not a presence in his son's life. Meanwhile, Gaby hatches a plan to have more sex with Carlos, Susan teaches a reluctant MJ how to fall, and Dave's motives for moving to the neighborhood continue to take shape.

Guest starring: Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Jeff Williams as Dr. Manning, Mary Pat Gleason as Ms. Elenora Butters and Charlie Babcock as Stu

See main article: Mirror, Mirror

Original air date: October 26th, 2008

Written by: John Pardee and Joey Murphy

Directed by: Scott Ellis

Plot Synopsis: Before Susan can sign her divorce papers, she wants to talk to Mike in private. Lynette rushes to the hospital where she learns Tom received a massive electric shock at his restaurant. His heart stopped but was revived;will there be tissue damage? After a party, Mrs. McCluskey is wheeled into an ambulance. She tells an EMT that Dave was responsible for what happened, as he knows she knows he's up to no good. The EMT thinks she's delirious.

Guest starring: Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey, TBA as EMT, Tuc Watkins as Bob Hunter, and Kevin Rahm as Lee McDermott

See main article: There's Always a Woman

Original air date: November 2, 2008

Written by: John Paul Bullock III

Directed by: Matthew Diamond

Plot Synopsis: While he’s giving an elderly woman a massage, Carlos accidentally gives her an orgasm. Susan and Jackson broke up; she wanted a casual relationship while he wanted to discuss their future. Bree meets Orson's college roommate. One of the Scavo twins has been grounded. The twin tells his friend he has bars on the window and a lock on the door, but that's not going to stop him.

Guest starring: Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Lily Tomlin as Roberta, Gail O'Grady as Anne Schilling, Frances Conroy as Virginia Hildebrand, Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey, TBA as Kirby Schilling, TBA as Charlie, Lydia Blanco as Maid, TBA as Brandon, and TBA as Trish the Secretary

See main article: What More Do I Need?

Original air date: November 9, 2008

Written by: Matt Berry

Directed by: Larry Shaw

Plot Synopsis: A woman enjoys a margarita in a pool. Bree fires a teenager who stole money from her. The teenager admits he spent the money on pot; Bree gives him two days to return the money. Later, the teen wants to get the money from Andrew in exchange for giving Andrew a tape. But rather than give the teen money, Andrew shows the teen a picture he Photoshopped to make it appear the teen had sex with Andrew. Andrew gets the tape but still expects the teen to pay back the money. At a PTA meeting, the mother in charge of getting chaperones for the Junior prom asks for volunteers. There's drama involving another mother.

Guest starring: Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Gail O'Grady as Anne Schilling, Peter Onorati as Anne Schilling's Husband

See main article: City on Fire

Original air date: November 16, 2008

Written by: Bob Daily

Directed by: David Grossman

Plot Synopsis: A babysitter named Candice becomes upset when both of the Solis kids goes missing. They are with Francis Conroy's character having ice cream. THe kids call her grandma and so Candice lets them leave with her. She calls Gaby and asks if she can still be paid in full if she leaves early and Gaby realizes that Francis Conroy's characterhas kidnapped her girls. An English professor named Lloyd, who's divorced thrice, in his late forties is dating Julie, one his grad students. To Susan's surprise, he's planning to propose to her. A fire happens at the club where the Desperate Housewives men are playing a gig. The fire is connected to Dave and the mystery.

Guest starring: Andrea Bowen as Julie Mayer, Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Steven Weber as Lloyd, Frances Conroy as Virginia Hildebrand, Gail O'Grady as Anne Schilling

See main article: Me and My Town

Original air date: November 30, 2008

Written by: Lori Kirkland Baker

Directed by: David Warren

Plot Synopsis: Andrew gets a new boyfriend. Bree's on sleeping pills with hilarious reprocusions. Carlos might get his sight back.

Guest starring: Roy Werner as Dr. Sage, Bob Ross as Doctor, Annalise Basso as Denise, Gail O'Grady as Anne Schilling, David M. Fabrizio as Detective Collins

See main article: A Vision's Just a Vision

Original air date: December 7, 2008

Written by: David Flebotte

Directed by: Larry Shaw

Plot Synopsis: A Scavo boy is arrested for arson. Carlos regains his sight. Mrs. McCluskey and her sister Roberta continue to investigate Dave's past.

Guest starring: Todd Grinnell as Dr. Alex Cominis, Peter Onorati as Warren Schilling, Kevin Rahm as Lee McDermott, Tuc Watkins as Bob Hunter, Todd Waring as Dr. Martin, Ron Gilbert as Italian Businessman, Marisa Petroro as Italian Secretary, Marie Caldare as Lila Dash, Matthew Jones as Policeman #1, Vincent M. Ward as Guard

See main article: Home is the Place

Original air date: January 4, 2009

Written by: Jamie Gorenberg

Directed by: David Grossman

Plot Synopsis: A hot shirtless gay guy dances at a gay club. He compliments Susan, who's never been there before and is with a guy. At first Susan thinks the shirtless gay guy is flirting with her; she mentions she's in a relationship. Gabrielle learns one of Carlos' former associates has a job opening perfect for Carlos. Carlos, however, has decided to work with the blind, to Gabrielle's horror. Carlos and Gabrielle host a dinner party featuring people Carlos formerly worked with in business, including Phil Lopez (who Gabrielle brought home in season 3 to make Carlos jealous) and Phil's unhappy wife.

Guest starring: Lily Tomlin as Roberta, Todd Grinnell as Dr. Alex Cominis, Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey, Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Tuc Watkins as Bob Hunter, Kevin Rahm as Lee McDermott, David Starzyk as Bradley Scott, Ion Overman as Maria Scott, Joanna Cassidy as Melina Cominis, Polly Bergen as Stella Wingfield, Erin O'Shaughnessy as Receptionist

See main article: Connect! Connect!

Original air date: January 11, 2009

Written by: Jordon Nardino

Directed by: Ken Wattingham

Plot Synopsis: A woman's had a heart attack. One of the women may be set up with a produce guy. Gabrielle has her roofer order her kids to pick up their toys. Porter is laying low at the retirement home of his grandmother Stella

Guest starring: Polly Bergen as Stella Wingfield

See main article: The Best Thing That Ever Could Have Happened

Original air date: January 18, 2009

Written by: Marc Cherry and Bob Daily

Directed by: Larry Shaw

Plot Synopsis: The neighborhood handyman who's found dead on Susan's roof. The women of Wisteria Lane will recall significant moments from when Eli was present, including the day Mary Alice killed herself. Lynette recalls how Eli helped her when she was overwhelmed and neglected Penny. Gabrielle's memory of Eli concerns his helping her make new friends when she moved in to Wisteria Lane. Edie recalls the special friendship she and Eli shared. Susan remembers how Eli was always there for her as a shoulder to cry on each time a man walked out of her life. Bree recalls how Eli made a small gesture that helped get her where she is today. Gabrielle's maid from the first season - Yao Lin returns in this episode. A short-tempered caterer prepares for a wealthy woman's event. We'll meet one of the women's ex-husbands,a hot Latino.

Guest starring: Steven Culp as Rex Van De Kamp, Christine Estabrook as Martha Huber, Beau Bridges as Eli Scruggs, Lucille Soong as Yao Lin, Matt Cedeño as Umberto Roswell

See main article: Mama Spent Money When She Had None

Original air date: February 8, 2009

Written by: Jason Ganzel

Directed by: David Warren

Plot Synopsis: We meet the headmaster of the private elementary school that MJ attends. We'll also meet Bree's book publisher. Gabrielle and Edie attend a fitness boot camp. Tom may be forced to sell his car.

Guest starring: TJ Ramini as Yaniv

See main article: In a World Where the Kings are Employers

Original air date: February 15, 2009

Written by: Lori Kirkland Baker

Directed by: David Grossman

Plot Synopsis: Carlos's boss is cheating on his wife. Lynette tells Tom they must sell their restaurant. After learning Bree gave Andrew a raise, Orson confronts Bree. Susan begins working at MJ's school. Some of the residents of Wisteria Lane are beginning to suspect Dave's up to no good.

Guest starring: Todd Grinnell as Alex Cominis

See main article: Crime Doesn't Pay

Original air date: March 8, 2009

Written by: Jamie Gorenberg

Directed by: Larry Shaw

Plot Synopsis: In a gesture of friendship, Bree tells Lynette she'll help Tom secure a new job, but the best intentions will reach a tempestuous end and reveal Orson's shameful misdeeds; Gaby finds herself in a precarious position when Carlos's adulterous boss begins using her to cover for himself as he continues to cheat on his wife leading to a shocking result; and Edie digs into Dave's past after a chance encounter with an old acquaintance.

Guest starring: Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey, Don Moss as Father Drance, Christopher Rich as Bruce, David Starzyk as Bradley Scott, Ion Overman as Maria Scott, Megan Hilty as Shaela

See main article: The Story of Lucie and Jessie

Original air date: March 17, 2009

Written by: Jordon Nardino

Directed by: Bethany Rooney

Plot Synopsis: Susan continues to work as a teacher's aide to kids at school. Susan needs to stay on Jessie's, who works at Susan's school, good side as she will be evaluating Susan's performance. Susan and Jessie, who's a lesbian, share a kiss. Meanwhile, at the newspaper, Edie's looking for information on the people who died in Mike's car accident and Lynette interviews for an ad job. Also, a therapist tries to help Orson and Bree, but Orson's problems may not be easy to overcome. In addition to his marital problems, Orson may also be a kleptomaniac. Carlos gets a promotion, which will lead to him working with Lucie, an overweight woman in her late 30s--who happens to be Carlos's ex-girlfriend.

Guest starring: Swoosie Kurtz as Jessie, Lesley Boone as Lucie Blackburn, John Rubinstein as Mr. Hobson, Kevin Rahm as Lee McDermott, Melissa Strom as Nikki

See main article: A Spark. To Pierce the Dark.

Original air date: March 22, 2009

Written by: Alexandra Cunningham

Directed by: David Grossman

Plot Synopsis: Bree considers selling her business to save her marriage, Lynette is threatened by her new boss, boundaries are crossed for Gaby and Carlos, Katherine is caught in the most unexpected of circumstances and Edie's worst fears come true.

Guest starring: Richard Burgi as Karl Mayer, Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey, Lesley Boone as Lucie Blackburn, John Rubinstein as Mr. Hobson

See main article: Look Into Their Eyes and You See What They Know

Original air date: April 19, 2009

Written by: Matt Berry

Directed by: Larry Shaw

Plot Synopsis: The wives visit Travers at school and tell him what happened to Edie. Newly created flashbacks show the women interacting with Edie. Bree's marriage is troubled to the limits. This episode is narrated by Nicollette Sheridan as the late Edie Britt.

Guest starring: Stephen Lunsford as Travers McLain, Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey, Andrew Lockridge as Student, Kevin Rahm as Lee McDermott

See main article: Rose's Turn

Original air date: April 26, 2009

Written by: Dave Flebotte

Directed by: David Warren

Plot Synopsis: Susan is stopped by the police and is caught with a picnic basket with guns and knives. Orson's thieving only gets worse, especially when an old woman catches him. Orson thinks no one will believe her. Tom and Gabrielle square-off, while Carlos saves Lynette in the shower. Dave realizes that he has been targeting the wrong Wisterian.

Guest starring: Gloria LeRoy as Rose Kemper, Sarah Knowlton as Patty Rizzo, Matt Malloy as Dr. Kagen

See main article: Bargaining

Original air date: May 3, 2009

Written by: David Schladweiler

Directed by: David Grossman

Plot Synopsis: Juanita starts wearing make-up, which prompts Gabrielle to teach her a lesson about inner beauty, but Gabrielle breaks the boundaries herself when she desires for make-up at an event involving the mayor of Fairview. Bree tries to get the best divorce lawyer-- and it turns out to be Karl! Jackson returns with news for Susan. Lynette and Tom negotiate sex, and find themselves in a load of fun.

Guest starring: Richard Burgi as Karl Mayer, Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey, Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Tuc Watkins as Bob Hunter, David Fabrizio as Detective Collins, Billy Mayo as Detective Lyons, Sawyer Church as Evan Mayer

See main article: Marry Me a Little

Original air date: May 10, 2009

Written by: Jason Ganzel

Directed by: Larry Shaw

Plot Synopsis: Gaby wants Juanita to volunteer for the church soup kitchen when she appears to be ungrateful. Having done so, she also runs into an old housewife who is now poor. An NRS agent halts Jackson's plans of marrying Susan, while Tom wishes to have plastic surgery until Lynette convinces him not to. Bree tries to hide her intentions from Orson.

Guest starring: Richard Burgi as Karl Mayer, Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Wendy Makkena as Fran, Todd Cahoon as Bill Brown, Jeff Doucette as Father Crowley, Nancy Linari as Evelyn, Paul Ryan as Bruce, Thomas Lumberg Jr. as Immigration Agent, Biff Wiff as Homeless Man, Robert Sudduth as Eric

See main article: Everybody Says Don't (Season 5)

Original air date: May 17, 2009

Written by: John Pardee and Joey Murphy

Directed by: Bethany Rooney

Plot Synopsis: Gabrielle is upset when she and the kids visit Carlos's family and are asked to take his niece under their wing. Lynette is upset with Tom for his latest "bright idea," Orson threatens to blackmail Bree, and Susan accepts Dave's "friendly" gesture.

Guest starring: Richard Burgi as Karl Mayer, Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey, Gale Harold as Jackson Braddock, Lily Tomlin as Roberta Simmons, Liz Torres as Connie Solis

See main article: If It's Only In Your Head

Original air date: May 17, 2009

Written by: Jeffrey Richman

Directed by: David Grossman

Plot Synopsis: Lynette adapts to Tom's decision to go back to school, Orson takes a beating that Bree cannot comprehend. Lynette finds out that she is pregnant. Carlos' niece, Ana, moves into the Solis home, despite Gaby's objection. Susan and M.J.'s lives are in grave danger at the hands of Dave. The last five minutes reveal some drastic changes in the lives of the housewives.

Guest starring: Richard Burgi as Karl Mayer, Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey, Lily Tomlin as Roberta Simmons, Liz Torres as Connie Solis, Maiara Walsh as Ana Solis, Steve Tyler as Minister